Whence Comes Jewish Self-Hatred?

This essay is being written on US Election Day of "2004."  And while the outcome of that contest is not known at this writing to the author (a disadvantage not shared by the reader), one thing that has long been obvious is that the majority of the Jewish vote will go to the candidate preferred by Hamas, Islamic Jihad, and the Palestine Liberation Organization.  Jews who are more concerned with the safety of Israel have been scratching their heads and shouting at their fellows to come to their senses.  And one of these voices--Ms. Julia Gorin--has pointed out that the "Jewish vote" will probably go not only against the best interests of Israel, but even against the economic interests of American Jews domestically.  It seems as if American Jews are literally trying to punish themselves and the Israelis for being Jewish.

At the risk of beating a dead horse (and without necessarily endorsing any particular economic doctrine), I wish to speculate here on the origins of so much of this mania that compels so many Jews to vote and work for their own destruction.

What is it that so many Jews hate?  The answer is easy.  They hate G-d, religion, and religiosity.  And since these are `Am Yisra'el's gifts to the world, they hate `Am Yisra'el.  They would deny it, of course.  In fact, they would all insist they are "proud Jews."  Trouble is, they're not proud of anything Jewish.  Hence their venomous hatred of anything that reminds them of who they really are.  And note please that most of their hostility is not aimed primarily at Ukrainians or Russian Orthodox or Hispanic Catholics or even Arab chr*stians, but precisely at that one segment of the chr*stian world that loves, supports, and recognizes the Jews as G-d's Chosen People.  How embarrassing.  Such folk would much rather be labelled "the Devil's people" by a Luther or Chmelnitzky than be idolized by crude bumpkins named Caleb and Jemimah who want to thank them for teaching them that the world was created in six days.

How do such sad specimens create a reality for themselves in which they can be "proud Jews" while hating and opposing everything in Judaism?  Simple.  They redefine Jewishness to mean something else.  More specifically, rather than define it as anything positive, they define it exclusively as the negation of something else.  And what is that something else?  Why, chr*stianity of course.  It seems chr*stianity is the very antithesis of Jewishness and that the sole concern of any "proud Jew" is to be as different from chr*stianity as possible.  Very well then.  So what constitutes this "chr*stianity," which Jews must fight at all costs?  Let's take a look.

"Chr*stianity," it seems, teaches that the world was created in six days.  Yuck.  Ick.  The veritable stuff of nightmares.  Ah, but this is only the beginning.  Chr*stianity, completely ignoring the "fact" that Charles Darwin found that All Men Are Brothers back when he discovered that life has no purpose, insists that not everyone is the same.  Some people are special.  Different.  Chosen.  This is obviously the philosophy that gave Hitler (yimach shemo vezikhro!) to the world.

Furthermore, chr*stianity doesn't appreciate that there's no such thing as right or wrong other than that it is wrong to believe in right or wrong.  It has this pesky thing called "morality," which includes such irrational, outmoded taboos as prohibitions of adultery, incest, and homosexuality--taboos which science proved groundless the same day it proved that the universe weeps tears of pain when men force women to use separate restrooms.  No sir, "proud Jews," like their founder Voltaire, know that aside from a theoretical "social contract" that has never really existed in which all people "agree among themselves" to pretend that some things are right and others wrong, no objective morality exists (except for those discovered by in the science lab, like the injustice of sexism or speciesism).  Clearly chr*stianity is the bane of Jewish existence.

And why do these chr*stians hold such groundless beliefs?  They believe in some Tyrant In The Sky who created the world and therefore has the right to define right and wrong (which "proud Jews" know only human beings have the right to do, provided they are the right human beings).  Yet this "loving creator" of theirs is obviously merely an arbitrary dictator.  And how are they so sure they know what this Tyrant wishes of them?  It seems they have this Book which they like to "thump."  I wouldn't be surprised if they don't take it out and dance with it and kiss it on occasion.

And of course, as fanatics who follow this invisible Tyrant who they believe created the universe, they actually have the gall to want to force their beliefs on others (something no "proud Jew" would ever do, of course, at least not to "indigenous peoples").  They don't even grant other people the right to their own imaginary beings and moral codes but think they have the "right" to invade other people's lands, exterminate or enslave them, and destroy their altars and idols!  Could anything possibly be so un-Jewish?  Why, there is even a whole Jewish festival (Chanukkah) dedicated to the right of any people to worship any "gxd" or idol whatsoever!  Er, except for people that atheist scientists like to push around because they themselves must bow and scrape to politically powerful multiculturalists.

Imagine . . . an invisible "G-d" that science assures us cannot exist, groundless sexual taboos instead of "scientific" ones against using gender-specific pronouns, a scientifically untenable creation story, and glorification of the genocide of indigenous nations and their quaint religious beliefs!  And really . . . what sort of subhuman neanderthals give their kids names like "Jethro?"

That "new testament" is some savage book, isn't it?

By now the reader has seen my (hopefully) rapier-sharp point.  All those "chr*stian" things that "proud Jews" hate so much are not chr*stian at all--they are Jewish!  There is no six day creation in the "new testament."  There is no warrior G-d Who rallies His unfairly chosen nation to conquer a land, enslave or exterminate its people, and destroy its native religions.  There isn't even anyone named Jethro.  All these things are from the TaNa"KH--every last one of them.  And this is what so galls self-hating liberal Jews.  They are so filled with guilt and self-loathing for introducing the Big Redneck In The Sky into human history that they are determined to exterminate Jewishness from humanity even at the price of their own lives.  How sad, how pathetic, how utterly pathological is the liberal Jew who in order to be able to face himself in the mirror has to define "Jewishness" as war against Judaism.  Yet without this redefinition, without this lie that the essence of Jewish identity is opposition to every idea Judaism gave the world, he would be filled with such shame that he might not be able to wait for the terrorists to take his life from him.  How can one bear such "guilt?"

How could anyone who holds as his "prime directive" that one "gxd" is as good as another and that anyone has the right to worship anything or nothing according to his own choice call himself a "proud Jew" and live outside the psychiatric ward?

Even the old stereotype about "Jewish Communism vs. chr*stian Fascism" proves my point.  The alleged "Jewishness" of Communism rests not on any shared content (does Communism contain a mitzvah to bless G-d after eating?) but exclusively on the sad fact that so many Jews have been prominent in radical movements.  The "chr*stianity" of Fascism, however, rests on the the similarity of Fascist corporativism to the "Catholic" social teachings of Pope Leo XIII--teachings found nowhere in the "new testament" but pilfered from the Torah's laws for dividing 'Eretz Yisra'el among the Jews.  Wow!  Communism is "Jewish" by coloration but Fascism is "Jewish" by content!

Of course, there are still a few tricks the "proud Jew" can play with his heritage: selectively accepting or rejecting those things that fit his distorted self image, for example, or pretending that "historic Judaism" never actually believed any of this stuff but that only chr*stianity ever did.  Or pretending that the primitive religion of the "Israelites" (as opposed to "Jews," a favorite distinction of chr*stian anti-Semites) had nothing in common with what we know as "Judaism" but is better represented by chr*stianity, while the rabbis, those sly dogs, were already "undermining" the Torah by "new" interpretations that "softened" and "liberalized" it.  Or maybe there is the occasional claim that Jewish Oral Tradition (unknown to chr*stianity) makes the text mean something radically different than what it seems to on the surface, despite the importance of peshat (the plain sense) to all the great commentators and despite the fact that chr*stianity was governed universally by its own oral tradition until Luther . . . and that the heretical Qara'im (a Jewish sect that rejected the oral tradition and rabbinic authority) invented "protestantism" before any chr*stian did.  And incidentally, why are the "reform," "conservative," "reconstructionist," "progressive," ad nauseum, "branches of Judaism" treated as though they accepted the Oral Law or rabbinic authority when they are even more radical than the Qara'im in their rejection of it?

And really, why do "proud" Jewish liberals object to J*sus?  What did he ever say that offended them?  Do they disagree with his heretical pronouncements that universal rationally-derived ethics overrule "irrational" and "man-made" Halakhah?  Or that Jews should stop "discriminating" against Samaritans (whom the Men of the Great Assembly intolerantly barred not only from ever converting to Judaism but even of entering the World to Come)?  Or that one should pray in one's closet and not in public?  Or that a man is not defiled by what he eats (despite the plain fact that HaShem decreed otherwise) but by what "comes out" of him (and not in the old-fashioned, cultic sense!)?  And then, of course, there's the fact that the most backward, illiterate, and provincial chr*stian in the world doesn't pray for the restoration of animal sacrifices, which this "rightwing" J*sus allegedly made obsolete.  That must really hurt!  I mean, right in the store!

What do the "proud Jews" object to in this J*sus?  And what to the "neanderthal" rednecks see in him?

It is my opinion that the "proud Jews" who attempt to chr*stianize Judaism so that they may fight against it actually suffer from a profound and advanced case of "J*sus envy."

Personally, I never understood why Yehoshu`a Bin Nun's Redneck Fan Club was so attached to the Liberal from Nazareth.  If it weren't for the fact that all Jews are obligated by the Torah (regardless of how mixed up their thinking), I would gladly propose a deal: liberal Jews could take the Nazarene, whom any internally consistent and clear thinking redneck neanderthal would gladly trade for HaShem 'Ish Milchamah, Slayer of Myriads of Heathens.  No, seriously.  I think some neshamot must have gotten mixed up during gilgul!

Anyway, at the risk (again) of beating a dead horse, this is what I think of "proud Jews" who want to punish themselves for being too rich, too chosen, and descended from the inventors of Bible-Thumping Megalomania.

And now excuse me.  I'm thinking of changing my name to Jethro!